Australia is not happening. I was accepted into their online program back in May, which was great and all, except it wasn't the program I applied for. So I responded with a polite, "Sorry, but wrong. Please fix; I wanted to be in the on-campus program." They said they would look into it. A few months later I received an orientation packet for the online program.
That was the point at which I basically gave up. It had already been months since I had applied and this was not the first, or even the second, time that there had been an administrative mix-up. The program I applied to was housed within another department in the university, a department that seemed to have little to no idea what my program was. This alone was kind of fishy, but coupled with the trials I had to go through to even get a packet for the wrong program just pushed it over the edge of plausibility.
Even if I could have gotten them to sort it out I would have been left with too few months to scrounge up the necessary scholarships and funding. Not to mention the fact that had there been a problem with housing or anything like that once I actually arrived, I would have been dead in the water. Rationality won out and I decided that the risks were just too great.
So what am I planning now? you might ask. Spoilers, sweetie.